Falling back in love with soccer–and each other: Val & Kylie’s Story

As part of AFC Toronto's Pride Off The Pitch campaign, writer Kevin Hurren spoke with supporters Val and Kylie about rediscovering their love of soccer, finding community through AFC Toronto and what it means to see queer joy reflected in the stands.

As a teenager figuring out your queerness, you often abandon team sports out of fear. For Val and Kylie, their journey with AFC Toronto has been about coming back to a sport they love.

“You're in the locker room with your peers, and you're like ‘I can't change with all these other girls when I'm like into girls’,” says Val, 30, who had started playing soccer when they were only four years old. “You just think that people can read your mind somehow.”

Born in Peru, soccer was Val’s way of connecting with peers in their new home of Oakville, Ontario. But the more they identified as queer, the less space they felt they had in soccer. “It became an identity crisis, and when I was 15 I just dropped out of soccer.”

Little did Val know that south of the border, all the way in Arizona, someone had very similar feelings.

“I didn't really see a place for myself in sports as someone who was queer,” says Toronto-born Kylie, 31, who lived in the U.S. for her dad’s job. Though her sport at the time was gymnastics, she also felt that the girls around her would misunderstand her queerness.

When Kylie was 18 and moved back to Canada for school, she met Val on, of all places, online Fifth Harmony fan threads. Soon after the girl group’s music brought them together, the two began to date–and very quickly Kylie saw roots of her own history with sports. “Val was watching soccer all the time and loves soccer–so I asked, why aren’t you playing?”

Deciding it was finally time to get off the sidelines, the two found a queer soccer league to play in. “It was liberating to be yourself and be among people who actually see you, and to play soccer at the same time,” says Val.

Still, though open to all, the league was dominated by cis, gay men. “Val's a good soccer player, but because we weren't men, we weren't being passed to,” says Kylie. She saw that as part of a larger trend in sports that favour men. “We loved soccer, but we never had a personal connection like a lot of men and little boys have to their own team. They get to cheer for it, they go to games and it's theirs, right?”

That’s why the two were so excited to hear news of AFC Toronto. Finally, the couple not only had their own team, but one that was vocal with its support of queer and gender-diverse people. “It just feels like a dream come true,” says Kylie. The two imagine how different their younger years would have been if they had visibility and allyship with a team like AFC Toronto.

Do you remember your first AFC Toronto game?

Kylie: I remember us turning to each other and being like, ‘oh my God, we're here. This is happening.’ The whistle goes at that first game, and I don't even care how they did. It was just such an honour to be there, because it's history and it's happening in front of you.

Val: It was surreal. There's always been untapped potential here. Look how many Canadians have gone to the World Cup or have a gold medal without a league. All I could think about was how much potential growth this team had.

What about a favourite memory from any AFC Toronto match?

Val: There's so many moments I love, like the little moments in between when they're just teammates reassuring each other. That's why I enjoy soccer, because you can't just have one player do it all. So seeing Kaela Hansen score and then run to the bench hugging everyone. That was great.

Kylie: I remember at the very first York Lions game we were second row and Colby Barnett got in this little argument with another player and she just like threw the player down. I thought, she's got that dog in her! Seeing that physicality and passion–which sometimes men think we don’t have–was so intense. She's continued to be like one of my favorite players.

How does being queer impact your experience as a fan?

Kylie: I think like it comes back to, yes–this is a professional sport–but it’s so much bigger than soccer. Queer people have been such a fundamental part of sports and especially soccer. And at AFC Toronto games, you already see so many rainbow flags and so many queer people at every game. Every game feels like it's such a representation of queer joy. It's just such an inclusive environment.

Val: Things like the Pride game–it’s kind of like a statement that is reflected back to you. We embrace you and you're part of us. We're all in this community together. We see you.

What advice would you have for other queer soccer fans who are maybe nervous about coming to a game?

Val: I think most people are very open to conversation. Most people are willing to have somebody sit next to them and be like, ‘hey how's it going?’ If somebody talked to me like during the game, I wouldn't be mad.

Kylie: There are also fan Facebook groups that people are part of where you can post that you’re going to your first game alone and I'm sure plenty of people would tell you to introduce yourself.

Words by Kevin Hurren • For AFC Toronto

Check out the campaign on Instagram, @afctoronto, see here.